This is a story that some of you gonna trust or some of you won’t
But let me get straight to the point.
Neither I want anyone of you to attempt the same thing I did nor I’m writing this to convey a message which makes you feel lost in the clouds.
Look as a Middle-class family the only discussion we bring to the table when it comes to kids is education because trust me our parents don’t know a shit what it is but they’re putting a hell a lot of effort to make us sail through the tidy waves.
I know now you have a double sided opinion about me, maybe I like my parents or maybe I don’t but let me take all that from the floor & mop it with some lavender to make it seem fresh.
The story almost starts from the day I landed in the shape of Homo Sapiens in this holy crap called “Earth”.
[Please Don’t Judge]
But after a lot of struggle in which I haven’t done anything but If I won’t tell you that did the struggle would you be interested in this story??
So, Yeah that struggle took me to a beautiful city name as “Bikaner” along with my family.
I had a good school, some goofy class-fellows, a computer to watch porn, a big clean place to destroy & OfCourse my instincts which always said that you’ll be successful one day.
How I Survived my 25 Years with that thought in the back of my head
I was a dumped piece of crap when it comes to “Studies” to be really honest with you I have always Looked for a loophole through which I can find my way to Cheat in Exams.
& Luckily I was In a Private School with a Reputation of being the #2 School or Probably the #1 in the city.
And trust me no one wants to mess with an exponentially growing graph when it comes to business.
and That’s How Ladies & Gentlemen I Passed my 11th Grade.
By the way here is the step-by-step process what happened:
- Failed in Chemistry
- School Called our Parents [I was not the only one]
- We wrote an dramatic apology letter [To the Principal OfCourse]
- Next day I was sitting in 12th Grade
Like yesterday I never thought about that it would be that easy to pass the exam.
Eventually, Book Of Mathematics was asking me what was my fault that you dropped those Full of Elasticity, direction-less dancing wet Parle-G’s On Me?
To be honest I didn’t have an answer but I wanted to do the Justice with “MATHEMATICS”
Thus, I failed In Maths In 12th
& Now “MATHEMATICS” is even more Offended.
Let me tell you the truth
He was never full of life, I saw him in the hand of “Ramu” [Our Mathematics Tuition Teacher] always complaining, Lost in complex situations of life and never ready to co-operate.
It’s Like his Ex. I Ditched him.
Oh Not Ramu But “MATHEMATICS”
Now the Chase back to “Board Exams”
Physics, Chemistry & Mathematics where the next one back-to-back after English at the 1st Date.
[OfCourse we had some 3-4 Days Off Between the Exams]
I never get the point of getting these prep days between the Exams. It seems like you’ll end up breaking up with your GF but you got 3 Days to write your Break-up Script or Maybe you can plan a Murder If you belong to the Ruling Party haha
[IN INDIA IT’S NORMAL]
You know while most of my class-mates were doing their revisions on the Syllabus during those prep-days between the exam.
I was figuring it out Which God to Trust More
I was looking Online for this…
Well the Ones who seems to have more influence in society to me are “Hanuman” “Shiva” “Jai Mata Di” “Jai Shri Ram”
But this guy “INDRA”
I didn’t had a clue about him until I Googled it.
Now the Real Challenge was not to Cover-up the Syllabus But to Find a Temple Where I can have a Meeting with “INDRA” and Propose a deal on my behalf.
[WHICH I DIDN’T FOUND]
Luckily, I got a call from the Auto-Driver who use to drive us to the school sometime when the Winter is coming.
[GAME OF THRONES TOUCH WAS NEEDED TO APPEAL LOL]
He: Whats up
He: You Seems Worried
He: May God will help you
Me: Which one?
He: Satti Mata
Me: Which god is this?
He: The one which has an Influence in our life.
Me: I Can meet with Her
He: Yes…Come Over
That day I figured it out that India has more then 33 Crore God & Goddess
Also, Influence of a particular God depends on the Number Twitter or Facebook Followers along with the number of Temples
& They Have have there Own Parliament as well
I reached there and I made a deal with the Goddess that If you help me Pass 12th Grade….I’ll do this ….I’ll do that…..I’ll also do that
[My promises I don’t even Remember because I made too many of them]
And It was a win-win Situation for her
Next-Day I went to Exam hall which was about 3 KM’s from my home but I was still Nervous and Thinking of what If She fails to deliver?
What If she didn’t able to find my room or roll no.??
I Heard the bell & Exams Started right at 9:30 AM
I guess I was not the only one who was praying in that room when I Looked back haha
To be clear I didn’t have any Chits, or Cheating material with me because that’s not who I’m
On the left side, there was a girl who was making a Diagonal with me and the bench was soo close that I see what she was writing.
Thanks to the govt. policies because If govt. had invested enough they must had some more space & good benches.
Board Examiners are so Crap people that they make paper into 4 sets but with the same questions also you don’t have to write them sequence wise also we had a difference of almost 6-7 Roll Numbers.
Also I knew that the Examiners were paid 30 Rupees per answer sheet to get checked
For them it’s a money making opportunity
more copies you’ll check more money you gonna make
So it was like I was single for a long time & Suddenly someone shows up & says will you marry me?
I Just Started & Didn’t stopped until 12:30 PM
Also, She was so co-operative that next day I made a deal with her that she will slide down the answer sheet a bit on the ride side and I’ll Copy.
- Girl was supportive
- The attendant was watching porn in his smart-phone [My Assumption haha]
- & I was super fast
But there was a thing that I saw in-between which was a Sparrow came in our room & sat on the fan
I saw her
She saw me
& Then she left after 20 Minutes
For me, it seems like it was the Goddess or maybe one of his loyal worker whom she sent to have a look at the situation.
[THAT’S ALL I CAN IMAGINE AS AN PRO BHAGWAN BHAKT KID AT THAT TIME]
All my friends were out with a snake face & I was the one with Mongoose
Reached back home called that guy
He: How’s your exam?
Me: It went well
He: Look I told you she has Local Influence here
Me: yeah…you were right she came there in a shape of Sparrow
He: She can go anywhere in any shape
Me: that’s true
After 3 days of Preparation we went to the exam hall again.
It is “CHEMISTRY” this time
Same Thing Happened
I was over the moon after finishing the exam
Now, It’s the last Battle which was waiting for me
In Physics & Chemistry I did study a bit but mathematics I didn’t even look at it
Although for 2 years straight I went to Ramu’s Tuition Classes
Too early at 6 in the morning during winters as well
But Nothing happening
Because I always Had this confusion that how we will define it that which formula we have to use to solve this equation
[Because each question has a different formula]
Although for me the Exam Girl was there to help.
So, The day Came
I went to the exam hall and
- Rooms were changed
- Attendant was Changed
- The girl had Biology rather Mathematics
- Sparrow didn’t showed-up
Basically, I was Fucked
I don’t know what I wrote in the exam but I ended up with Only 6 Number out of 100 which was a sort of Achievement for me
& That’s why
“MATHEMATICS” was unhappy with me until now.
Although Now I don’t give a damn shit about it
Luckily “Physical Education” Saved my ass as it helped me pass my 12th Grade.
So, It was a Strategical cheating in board exams in which god has an equal contribution
It’s totally not my fault
Also I feel this way that we have been trained in a way to do things at school
Because the real education is having the freedom of studying what you want to not what you have to
Let’s Educate people & make them aware rather than just making them trained
I Hope you got the point here
As of now, You have been through the whole story & You clearly understand what happened, why it happened & What I did wrong.
I won’t try to be a Guru here but at-least I would say this you must give it a try haha
NOT AT ALL
That you must give a try to something which makes you feel “YOU” rather than being indulging with some sort of influencing stuff
Having an Influence won’t changing anything but having it in a direction-less manner will change alot for you
& Don’t be a Liar
Not to others but to yourself
I hope you’ll share some of your experience in the comment box because I’m dying to read some funny incidents happened with all of you guys.
or maybe a simple feedback comment as an token of gesture 😛